I Need an Answer

 

Remind me why I'm still alive. I searched this on Google and on Youtube, nothing came up. Maybe a song or two, but they were all 'love' songs. Not really why I was looking this up. I don't think any one really ever speaks whay they think, good or bad... you always change it up to make it sound better... even though it may not be what you meant. Another reason why a lot of people are mistaken for having a 'perfect life.' I always read this saying, like everywhere... I got it, and I didn't know what to think. The past three months it's become reall for me... and so many others- "Crying yourself to sleep, waking up and going off for the day and smiling and saying 'I'm fine' all the time..." this saying was always worded differently depending on who had it, what pic, and where. But I'm sure you've heard it and done it. Every day maybe. See I've figured something out... as much as i hate being upset, suicidle even, depressed, or emotionally screwed... I kind of...don't want to lose that part of me... it makes me more tune to others feelings, I may not show it all the time, it does though... I mean I wouldnt mind getting a line though suicidle. But the thing is, I haven't done it yet, threathened myself with a knife to the hand yeah, but something always stops me. That hesitant feeling- if you still have that, no matter how small it may get to be, it stops you. Because deep down you don't really want to die, you just want things to end... maybe it's a lot different for you IDK... I'm just typing about it so I dont take the knife any further. Maybe, your just are tired of something... everything seems to different now, right? It's not the same any more. I can't type all I'm thinking... and I wont... I never will... I needed to talk to someone who can't talk back.. so I type it. I don't even know how I changed subjects... before I typed this I was crying. I'm being kicked farther in my whole by some 'friends' right now... but I know... maybe some point in life, something will happen and I'll get out. Thanks.











Hey look, I want to try and make you smile on inside... Maybe I just needed to do this for myself... whatever- here it is...



Live life like Nicki Minaj's butt, it will always go up an down... but it will never change.



I don't know... but some how^ that kinda' makes sense? Oh well...




ONE.VERSE 1/2 J